Tirade Tuesday

Today's Tirade Tuesday post is brought to you by the power of Google! Annnnnnnnddddd an over active anxious (minor potty language in the post) mind!!!

And! My scale! I almost hate to admit...out loud...on paper...on the computer...I've lost 4lbs since Christmas.
WHY??? Well, I tend to have catastrophic thinking. So naturally I assume the worst and that I need to seen immediately by the doctor in case I'm dying, because I'm excessively hungry and still have some how managed to lose 4lbs even though I am eating OVER 2,000 calories. WHY? Then my second thought is, 'OH great! Here comes the judgement wheel, if I don't stack back on those 4lbs every one's going to think I'm not eating again', but clearly, if you read my blog you know I eat. After having a fellow fitness fanatic talk me down a tiny bit, then another friend talked me off the cliff, and my sister in law was able to bring me back to reality for the most part.

She told me that the scale is really hard to go by. In fact, she said it's the devil. She suggested I start taking measurements instead...does anyone know where to pick up those measuring tapes at? The kind for measuring fabric...or people? When building lean muscle you really want to up your carbs.

But for a woman with PCOS, CARBS SCARE ME! I was taught for basically a year to not eat them. Now I have to learn how to eat them?? The nutritionist I saw last year said I could have up to 200 grams a day. I just need to figure out how to balance them between all my meals.

As far as eating for lifting, she said I could sip Gatorade during a workout (Or a yoli drink called Fun). That I should avoid fat before and after exercise because it will slow down my digestion. She also stated, after I confessed to using a probiotic that-that will affect the scale too. I was taking it daily but I think I've decided to go home, read the bottle again, and maybe only take a few times a week. She reassured me that carbs are the main source of energy for the body. She REALLY encouraged me to up my carb intake though. Because I've been taking in only about 130 grams of carbs a day, and about 100 grams of fat a day...not good.
(Back on the hamster wheel of WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSE TO EAT?)
I have a pretty decent balance though of Good fats/bad fats. She expressed eating carbs and protein at every meal, but to play with the fat amount a little.

She said coconut oil and steak are great sources for saturated fats. Only one serving a day or either though, not both. "Steak is excellent for after your lifting sessions" she said. Hmmm, I think I could get used to eating a steak after lifting! LOL. She said to up my carbs and do higher carb sources before/after lifting, but to give it a few weeks and see how I feel. Do measurements for at least a the widest part of the hip and the waist.
Keeping in mind "that everyone is different and you may feel better with high fats and protein. But if you're not seeing muscle gains then your carbs need to go up."

She really helped calm me down. But it really made me think about HOW HARD THIS IS...this dream of having a "Perfect Body". It's such hard work!!!

 (photo credit included in picture)

Boy did I ever learn that-that statement is true, today! I don't really know that "staying fat" is hard...I mean emotionally definitely,  physically-eventually it's hard on your body, but it's true...what kind of hard do I want?
Do I want rock hard abs? Yep! Sure do! Not going to lie, but I DO NOT want to stress or kill myself trying to get them...(DEATH BY STRESS!).
I read an article over at Coconuts and Kettle bells about why she doesn't want 6 pack abs! Seriously, read the article. The #1 reason? They serve NO functional purpose what-so-ever..you can have a GREAT core & not have them show. "While having a strong, stable core is most definitely necessary to support the body – it doesn’t have to be visible to function properly." I would really like to reduce my overall body fat that I have...but I'm tired of freaking out about it. I'm also tired of hearing everyone tell me "Oh...look at you...you're so...skinny." In the worst voice ever. 

What I do need to concentrate on is being happy. Accepting me, for me...but really. Jiggly thighs and all...and yes they jiggle. I don't know how or why I fell victim to needing a perfect body. I just did...really? What am I trying to do? Scale walls like a badass? Yeah, actually I wouldn't mind doing that. But I'm not a stunt double. After yesterday's post and really looking into a PCOS friendly diet, I don't know that I'll be kicking grains totally to the curb BUT FOR SURE sugar! Oh, and placing perfectly evenly spaced carbs throughout my day to sustain energy and keep my metabolism on the right track.

I did call the doctor for a check up just in case...don't judge me. Oh, and I'm totally having a margarita tonight. I think I need one. 

You'll have to excuse me while I go break up with my scale and make up with some healthy carbs...well...maybe not tonight. Tonight it's me and the patron. Oh sweet nectar of the heavens.

Blessing Everyone,

P.s. seriously, where do I find those measuring tapes?