'I don't know why I can't do this anymore? Why can I not run as fast as I used too? Why do I look so fat and pathetic?' All lies by the way. At that very moment though I was struggling with can't and won't.
Exercising your mind is just as important as exercising your body. There's that saying that our brains give up after 40% effort. After that, we tap out and throw in the towel. Ironwoman and I got one of first marathon training runs in last week. We combined those 3 miles with our 20lb vests for our Memorial Day Murph. The run took much longer than planned but it felt good to push our bodies. While Ironwoman spent the majority of the run pushing her baby in a stroller, I offered to push baby girl's stroller on the way back. Staring at what looked like a hill that went straight up, in my 20lb vest with the stroller...I decided in my mind before I even gave myself the chance, that I would only make it so far. I hollered at Ironwoman, who had run ahead, loving the freedom of not pushing a stroller uphill.
"I'm tapping out at the first lamp post."
Without skipping a beat Ironwoman replied, "No, you can push to the garbage cans at least!"
Alright, challenge accepted. It was then I began to tell myself "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can. I know I can."
There is a difference between can't and won't. Won't is when you allow yourself to believe that you can't push past a certain point. Can't is you literally can't because of injury or illness OR you can't because you won't. You limit yourself.
I almost limited my self again tonight in preparation for next week's Murph. I started with a 5-minute walking warm up in my 20-pound vest. I got through roughly 9 rounds of the Murph before my side started to have that sharp pain in it again. I attempted to knock out two more rounds but the pain was becoming more consistent. I ditched the vest and finished out my 18 rounds without the pain. Hoping on the treadmill to finish out my training, I was about to give in before I even started...again.
A series of conversations happen sometimes when I workout. Well, it tends to be more of a series of comprises than conversations. How can I get what I want out of my workout while putting in the minimal amount of effort? I want to go fast but I can't when I limit my thinking that I can.
All I needed to do was run 1 mile and it took a lot of mind power just to get me to the end of that mile. I started by walking until after my squat worn legs felt steady. Once I was able to run I set a goal of running to a half a mile. I barely made it that far when I automatically started to slow down. When I clued into my actions, instead of believing that I was tired I said now you need to run a little longer. I told myself I only have to run until the treadmill meter read .85. So close to an actual mile. I was feeling good, no fatigue in my legs and my mind was starting to finally synch with the rush of endorphins that I was able to finish out the mile on a sprint. I felt more accomplished in that mile than I did on that 8-mile hike back in Washington. Not only because I finished strong, but because I pushed past the wall built on the lies of can't and won't.
There's a difference of taking off the vest because I was in physical pain versus giving up because I was 'tired' and didn't feel like it anymore. I've been giving into that a lot lately, and tonight was a small step in the right direction.
Alright, everyone, I am off to get some good rest tonight.
Blessings,
A
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