Last night I had a great night out with friends, family, and my Mr. I tend to be a bit of a people watcher, while the event we were attending itself was pretty interesting (If loud cars and a dirt track next to a corn field are your thing) the people themselves were also entertaining.
I took note of body shape, size, smiles, hair color, tank tops, jeans with jewels. Little girls playing cheerleader, boys rooting for their favorite cars to go fast.
I thought about how each person lives there lives. How people can eat food and not think about carb content/fat grams and lean protein. How do people just walk up to the concession stand and say "1 corn dog and a diet coke, please?" Without a care in the world.
How do people live without counting calories? Worry about every little thing that goes in and goes out in order to maintain homeostasis?
How can I sit behind my keyboard and tell you FOCUS on being healthy NOT on your scale, NOT on the shape of your body, but yet still be so consumed with my own.
Yes, I have to do a better job watching my intake than the average 20 something woman, due to the PCOS and insulin resistance. True. But it doesn't mean that every once in awhile I can't have a cheat meal or a cheat day or a cheatin' weekend. I just need to be mindful of my health.
Last night I was starving after the race. It was after midnight, but don't you ever just need a little something warm to help put you to sleep? Like a cup a tea or warm milk with honey? Or even a piece of toast with Peanut butter?
What I wanted was a brownie. However, I thought back over the week. I'd had some wine and brownies on Wednesday, brownies on Tuesday and Thursday. Friday I was trying to behave. What would satisfy my hunger but could also be tasty and make me feel GOOD about what I was putting into my body.
I settled on a piece of toast with peanut butter and 2 scrambled eggs. I didn't worry about fat content. I just know I needed a little extra something.
As I lie awake talking to my husband about my day and just thinking about my diet, he said "You need to change your way of thinking." I'm not sure at what point it came to me but I remember Philippians 4:8
I took note of body shape, size, smiles, hair color, tank tops, jeans with jewels. Little girls playing cheerleader, boys rooting for their favorite cars to go fast.
I thought about how each person lives there lives. How people can eat food and not think about carb content/fat grams and lean protein. How do people just walk up to the concession stand and say "1 corn dog and a diet coke, please?" Without a care in the world.
How do people live without counting calories? Worry about every little thing that goes in and goes out in order to maintain homeostasis?
How can I sit behind my keyboard and tell you FOCUS on being healthy NOT on your scale, NOT on the shape of your body, but yet still be so consumed with my own.
Yes, I have to do a better job watching my intake than the average 20 something woman, due to the PCOS and insulin resistance. True. But it doesn't mean that every once in awhile I can't have a cheat meal or a cheat day or a cheatin' weekend. I just need to be mindful of my health.
Last night I was starving after the race. It was after midnight, but don't you ever just need a little something warm to help put you to sleep? Like a cup a tea or warm milk with honey? Or even a piece of toast with Peanut butter?
What I wanted was a brownie. However, I thought back over the week. I'd had some wine and brownies on Wednesday, brownies on Tuesday and Thursday. Friday I was trying to behave. What would satisfy my hunger but could also be tasty and make me feel GOOD about what I was putting into my body.
I settled on a piece of toast with peanut butter and 2 scrambled eggs. I didn't worry about fat content. I just know I needed a little extra something.
As I lie awake talking to my husband about my day and just thinking about my diet, he said "You need to change your way of thinking." I'm not sure at what point it came to me but I remember Philippians 4:8
(God)
My pastor has talked about how it's hard for people to do good when they are focusing on not doing bad. It puts 'the bad' right in the forefront of your mind.
Case in point, don't think about brownies. I dare you not too.
Okay, I can do this....not thinking about chewy, chocolaty, delicious...crapppppp, already thinking about brownies.
Instead focus on the change to see the results.
So, what I need to concentrate on is NOT my weight. It literally only tells you the gravitational pull you have on the earth, and NOT my pooch. What I need to concentrate on is eating whole, healthy food when I am hungry. Not because I feel like I have to eat, but because my body needs to eat. I do find that I feel less moody when I eat every few hours though. I am going to concentrate on filling my fridge with nutritious foods. I am going to concentrate on what is good and what will make me PHYSICALLY feel good. A trick to helping with this is "Will this food serve me?" Apples provide fiber and carbohydrates, whereas brownies are pure sugar. It's a treat.
If I am hungry in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday and my options are french fries or pumpkin seeds, I will stop thinking about fat content and start thinking about what my body might need. While I think I am going to stick with a NO JUNK FOOD rule starting August 24th through September 5th, I do plan to start practice mindful eating.
For someone such as myself who went from over eating, to under eating, to strict control...finding balance is the hardest food game to play. It's the hardest to master.
I thought I had. 2 years of successful weight loss, but maintaining has been a different ball game. Now with gaining 7lbs, I've decided numbers probably aren't my friend right now. I'm too focus on numbers and carb count to be happy and enjoy life.
I need to focus on how my clothes fit. With the way my clothes are fitting now, yeah there a little tight but I will focus on the good food and forget the rest. I will also start lifting more again. I will remember low glycemic foods. I would like to still track my food to make sure I am properly taking in the right amount of food, but I will be a little more relaxed and NOT SO STRESSED ABOUT IT.
Focusing on change to see the results.
Alright everyone, I am off to finish my work for the day.
Be happy, be healthy. Focus on the good.
A
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