Open Letter to My Body

I've honestly been struggling to write this post, probably part of the reason I didn't get a post written yesterday.
This week I have been participating in BuzzFeed's Body Positivity Week. I thought this would be a great time to write myself, my body a letter.
What would I say to it? It was slightly scary thinking about what I actually thought about my body. What I actually wanted to say to it. Seriously, it makes me think about screaming. It's almost like writing an emotionally charged note to someone you're about to break up with in junior high. AH! Okay...I'm an adult...I can do this.

Hey beautiful,

I'm sorry I don't call you beautiful more often. I have so much that I want to say to you. Probably should start first by thanking you.
Thank you for being strong. I can move in ways I never thought possible. I can plank. Never thought when we were heavier that I'd be able to hold that for more than a few seconds. Thank you for taking this journey with me. For losing weight. For getting healthier.

I'm sorry I didn't listen to you sooner. I'm sorry that I didn't pay attention to the signs that I was sick. That I didn't feel well. That I was only feeding you crap. Worse, I was feeding you things that were slowly killing you. I didn't know the difference at the time. You know me, I don't do things to intentionally hurt others, but I'm sorry I was doing it to you. I'm sorry that I'm not often strong enough to fight off emotional eating.

Thank you for letting me push you to the brink of your capability. The warrior dash was fun wasn't it? Training for all these fitness events. We love the challenge don't we? Yes, feeling like a warrior. A fighter. Free. These things help bring us more confidence

I also forgive you. For the PCOS. We struggled for so long to figure out what was happening. All those missing periods. For the emotional instability. For tricking me into the dark world that infertility can drag us into.
I'm glad we're finally working together to beat this thing. Here's to a years worth of periods friend! One more month to go and we will have officially been steady for the last year. I'm glad we're working together to balance the hormones. For fighting for our health. We are in this together now.

I'm sorry that I don't give you breaks often enough, or even get massages to honor you enough. I'm sorry that I haven't always said nicer things when looking in the mirror at you. How could you love you, when I only spoke words of hate?

I love you body. I love every inch of you. Your curves. Your muscles. Your beauty. You are beautiful. Despite the acne scars. Despite the cellulite. Despite having uneven proportions. You are beautiful.  You are sexy. You are worthy of love. God loves you. He makes no mistakes. You are worthy of self love. I love you.I love your freckles and your moles. I love the curve of your back. Your smile. THOSE GORGEOUS EYES! I love your butt and I will buy you tacos.

(Great Expectations:: Trigger warning)

I'm sorry we fight sometimes.

I can't promise much, but I will promise to love you better. To honor you better. To enjoy you. To keep striving towards all over health. I'm a warrior for keeping you happy, healthy, and balanced.
 I'm ready for the next few adventures. Let's achieve dreams together.
I love you.

Me. Your Beautiful Self

I hope you take time to have a conversation with your body this week.