After Mothers Day

I was doing really good with eating clean all last week, but over the weekend got me. If you know me well enough, or maybe read this blog and know that I struggle with infertility, you know that Mothers Day isn't my favorite holiday. In fact I dread it. Every year. For at least the last few years. I read a post the other day though about when Mothers' Day hurts. It reminded me that Mothers' Day isn't just about all the 'new moms' and 'young moms' out there but also those who are hurting. I have friends and family members who have lost their mothers. They too look to mothers day with a mix of sadness and joy. Sadness for the one they are missing and joy for the ones they can celebrate with. 

My heart goes out to everyone who struggle with this day. While it has passed, I still wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. Those who have lost their children, wait to hold their children, long for the babies they never got to meet, and those who have lost their mothers. What a strange mix of emotions.

I tried to talk to the man about getting out of all mothers day celebrations on his side. I really couldn't handle being the only 'non-mom', but it turns out I'm glad I went. We got to take a ride in the jeep with the top down, doors off. It was everything I needed on that day. Sunshine, good music, and just enjoying the outdoors. Next best thing to 4 wheeling would be jeeping. (That's totally a word...that I just made up.)

It was the best mothers' day I've had in awhile.

Back to the grindstone this week. I need to reduce the caffeine again. I did go for a walk today at lunch and it felt so good. Even got a little jealous of the two runners I saw on the trail behind work. My knee did start to get a little whiny on the return trip. I'm trying not to over think it.

For now, I feel as if I'm living for Memorial Day weekend. That's when I'm officially done working two jobs and it's everything I can do to keep pushing through. I need to be kind to myself right now. This portion of my journey is almost over and I can't hardly wait.

I'll have a lot more to say and talk about as the weeks pass. I'd really like to start talking about handling anxiety more. I didn't realize how deeply rooted that was in me. Overcoming anxiety. Or at best...managing it.
PCOS. Anxiety. Weight loss. Weight Gain. Hypothyroidism. Yep. It's all there. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. It just means I know how to fight.

Alright, I'm off. Going to relax before bed tonight. Try and wind down with a good book.