Fertility Friday: Life Update & Health Care

This week has been bananas. Not anything serious. Just intense. We had a storm on Friday night that knocked out the power for 36 hours, causing us to make a trip to and from my parents with our perishables. We also lost part of our fence but we were the lucky ones. Some people lost vehicles and houses to the two tornadoes that touched down here.

Some of the damage around town that I noticed. It's strange to think about how wind can bend road signs in half. Power lines were down...might still be down. One person I know did get power back for four days.

We are safe though. It was nice to spend time with dad on Sunday on fathers day at the greatest game on dirt, otherwise known as the College World Series. Breath of fresh air I needed this last weekend.

This week though, just kind of hit me all at once. I had been feeling really good. For the most part I met the grocery challenge I set for myself, only to bust it just today when buying groceries. Good news, I spent LESS THAN $350 on groceries for the month, which is half of what I USED to SPEND. It is expensive to be healthy, but I'm slowly finding ways to feed us more on less.

Fertility Update: I don't know if it's my hormones, or if I really did just eat too much sugar a week or so ago, but I am emotional. It hit me pretty hard Wednesday. Could have been the long weekend, the crazy nights and the disagreement the man and I had (which is all better now. Communication! Imagine!). I could feel myself almost going under. Under the dark cloud of haze that threatens to take me down the path of emotional destruction. Every time I had a thought like, "this will never happen"; "you're not good enough"; "not pretty enough". I tried to remind myself that I am wholly loved by God.

It helps to take every negative thought and give it the complete opposite reaction. "Your acne is making you look like a clown." Close my eyes. "I am loved by God and I am his creation. He loves me. This I know" Open them.  I guess you could say this is looking at yourself through kindsight.

Then, there's this health care bill that's just looming over us. While they don't completely get rid coverage for pre-exisiting conditions, under the Senate Draft insurance companies would be required to accept all applicants regardless of health status. But the draft bill would let states ask permission to reduce required coverage, also called “essential health benefits,” which would give insurers some discretion over what they offer in their plans, and possibly change what they can charge consumers. And the House Bill "States can get permission to let insurers charge more for some pre-existing conditions and to exclude some people altogether. States would have access to federal money to help those with expensive policies or conditions." -NPR

"The protections around pre-existing conditions are still in place in the Senate bill, but the waiver authority gives states options that could include limiting coverage for people with pre-existing conditions," says Pearson.
Those waivers would allow state to drop benefits required by Obamacare, such as maternity coverage, mental health care and prescription drug coverage."

Cool, so my insurance already doesn't cover fertility treatments but it does cover being diagnosed. Now that I've been diagnosed under the revised draft I could potentially lose this coverage if my insurance decides it is too costly to treat said condition. (PCOS, Hypothyroidism, Depression.)  So I'm depressed because I can't have kids, and now you're possibly going to take away the very thing that is saving me from diabetes, heart attack, and a myriad of other conditions? ALSO, if somehow, by the Grace of God alone, we did happen to become pregnant this would ALSO be considered a pre-exsiting condition. So I LITERALLY CAN NOT HAVE KIDS...I really would be going back to the stone age, to birth my potential child in a cave.

It's not just me though that I am worried about. What about people like my grandparents? My grandmother of which is aging and has a myriad of health conditions as well. 8 Ways the new Healthcare Bill is Hazardous to Your Health.

Let's be for real though. Only God knows what will happen. It's not my job to worry about it. It is my job to call my senator and fight for what I believe in. If it's Gods will for me not to have kids (this includes adoption, but honestly until you actually look into the actual rules, laws, regulations, aand cost...I'd rather not talk to you about this right now.) then so be it. I can live knowing that I fought hard for I believed in and wanted.

And boy howdy, did God make me a fighter. 

I do also believe that this can be done with grace and with loving statements. I'm going to walk the walk though. I am emailing my senators, with my direct intention to ask them to think before they act.

Alright..off to fight another day.