I was elbow deep in a bag full of popcorn and chocolate chips, while the actor on screen moved and pivoted with grace and ease of a well tuned machine. I did not and do not feel like I used too. Physically.
The 20 pounds I've put back on has left me feeling angry and tired. Angry that I allowed this to happen. Tired before I even put the effort back into taking it off.
It was in this moment as I watched the Punisher seek vengeance for a kid that was in trouble, that I realized, why am I waiting for motivation to hit me to lose weight?
I get that it's not about losing weight and that my size has nothing to do with my worth, but I am uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with how I feel, with how I look.
Warriors and athlete's and champions, aren't waiting for the moment to strike to perform well. No, they are putting in the time in the early waking hours of the day and well into the evening after we've all since long gone to bed.
This is when warriors are made. When they don't feel like. When they're not motivated. They don't sacrifice what they want now for what they want later.
Maybe I lost the constant motivation I had...okay, I KNOW I lost the constant motivation I had. I really needed to keep my healthy eating and exercise on track because I wanted to control my PCOS symptoms. I lost hope. I lost motivation. I didn't care about my symptoms or diagnosis.
I just started going through the motions. However, with a vacation on the horizon, I'm finding myself, wanting the motivation. The drive. Unfortunately, I've been waiting for motivation to find me not the other way around. So what's a girl to do?
Move.
Sacrifice time. Meaning, go to bed early, wake up early, get to the gym. Sacrifice a clean kitchen if it means food prepping healthy meals. Sacrifice folded clothes.
Remember your why. My why was so clear 4 years ago. I protected it so fiercely that I drove friends and family nuts with how healthy I was being. They questioned my sanity. So, yeah I was a little extreme.
Now, my why is a vacation...but mostly me. Yeah, I want to look good, but mostly I want to FEEL good. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
Remember that this takes time. I didn't wake up one day having suddenly lost 80 pounds. I also didn't wake up one day suddenly having gained 20 pounds either. It's the day in, day out effort that I need to start pursing again.
For now I am taking some of my own advice and heading to bed. Early.
Meals are prepped. Bags are packed and ready for the gym. I'm starting the grueling effort again tomorrow.
Good night readers, and thanks for stopping by.
Tackle Monday like a beast! Or as my brother said "Prepare for battle"
Blessings,
A
The 20 pounds I've put back on has left me feeling angry and tired. Angry that I allowed this to happen. Tired before I even put the effort back into taking it off.
It was in this moment as I watched the Punisher seek vengeance for a kid that was in trouble, that I realized, why am I waiting for motivation to hit me to lose weight?
I get that it's not about losing weight and that my size has nothing to do with my worth, but I am uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with how I feel, with how I look.
Warriors and athlete's and champions, aren't waiting for the moment to strike to perform well. No, they are putting in the time in the early waking hours of the day and well into the evening after we've all since long gone to bed.
This is when warriors are made. When they don't feel like. When they're not motivated. They don't sacrifice what they want now for what they want later.
Maybe I lost the constant motivation I had...okay, I KNOW I lost the constant motivation I had. I really needed to keep my healthy eating and exercise on track because I wanted to control my PCOS symptoms. I lost hope. I lost motivation. I didn't care about my symptoms or diagnosis.
I just started going through the motions. However, with a vacation on the horizon, I'm finding myself, wanting the motivation. The drive. Unfortunately, I've been waiting for motivation to find me not the other way around. So what's a girl to do?
Move.
Sacrifice time. Meaning, go to bed early, wake up early, get to the gym. Sacrifice a clean kitchen if it means food prepping healthy meals. Sacrifice folded clothes.
Remember your why. My why was so clear 4 years ago. I protected it so fiercely that I drove friends and family nuts with how healthy I was being. They questioned my sanity. So, yeah I was a little extreme.
Now, my why is a vacation...but mostly me. Yeah, I want to look good, but mostly I want to FEEL good. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
Remember that this takes time. I didn't wake up one day having suddenly lost 80 pounds. I also didn't wake up one day suddenly having gained 20 pounds either. It's the day in, day out effort that I need to start pursing again.
For now I am taking some of my own advice and heading to bed. Early.
Meals are prepped. Bags are packed and ready for the gym. I'm starting the grueling effort again tomorrow.
Good night readers, and thanks for stopping by.
Tackle Monday like a beast! Or as my brother said "Prepare for battle"
Blessings,
A
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