What is my Why?

I read this post recently on Girls Gone Strong (I highly recommend you subscribe to their emailing list, especially if you want to help heal your relationship with your body and/or just feel empowered and get great advice.)

The title of this post was 'Why? This Simple Question Will Transform Your Work-Out and Self Image'.

It was a great article and the woman who wrote it, is beautiful! You might think, what does she have to complain about she looks great! It doesn't matter if we're a size 2 or 22, we ALL struggle with body issues.
(Can we also just take a minute appreciate how beautiful/pretty etc, whatever, someone else is WITHOUT putting ourselves down in the process?)

Neghar Fonooni is the woman behind the post, she is a fitness and training coach to help women live healthy empowered lives. I love how she gets just right down to the nitty-gritty of this subject matter of WHY? Why are we chasing a body image?

"So many of us have hustled for love, belonging, and success- often in the form of body transformation. All the while, we've had no real idea why we were doing so."

I'm going to take a moment and be raw about my emotions. The main reason I've been struggling with my body image (media aside) is because I don't want to be confused with my sister and sister in law with their pregnancies. As someone whose battled infertility for seven years now, the last thing I would want is for someone to ask me...again...when I'm expecting. (You mean this food baby? In about two hours, thanks!) 

I broke down in tears when I was talking with my mom. My psyche is all messed up with body images issues right now. I fear I'll put the 80 pounds back on. I fear I'll lose control of my PCOS, I already have a little bit...as I'm not being as strict. I have panic attacks just thinking someone is going to make the mistake of thinking I'm pregnant. I want to change the shape of my body, but I can't do that without SOMEONE ELSE making comments. 

'Too thin. Too skinny. Your veins are popping out of your hands. ((It's called GREAT circulation)) You're beautiful, why do you want to change?'

Bottom line is, I'm not comfortable in my own skin right now. While I still need to tackle the beast of self-acceptance and fear of someone asking me when I'm going to have kids (because I have birthing hips....WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?? It means my BUTT is wider than my shoulders. THANKS! But it also means I have a booty that won't quick. So- uh! There's that....I digress) I still want to feel comfortable. I want to run 3 miles again without feeling defeated. I want to complete the Murph with a 20-lb vest on. I want my body to work like a well oiled machine! 

Neghar goes on to say "We have to stop and ask why. Once they (the lies we discover when we ask ourselves -- WHY am I chasing this body image) become transparent, they no longer have a solid reason for existing. They can't control our worthiness when we ask why."

As I'm writing this, I thought, I need to ask myself why, every time I reach for candy. Am I hungry, am I craving it, am I emotional? It just might help control my emotional eating habits. 

More importantly though, I need to believe in my own worthiness again. I need to know that I am striving to be a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. To be authentically me, not out of fear.

I hope you can do the same. Remember why your worthy, and not because a scale or someone else has dictated that you are. 

Pro Tip: Use this Link to download your free copy of 6 Tips to Start Healing Your Relationship With Your Body.

I'm off for now. 

Blessings and Happy Valentines Day.

A