Monday Motivation: Overwhelmed

Realtalk: Pull up a chair and hot cup of tea or coffee...this is gonna be a long one today.

I feel like I've been inundated with so much health information that...I'm overwhelmed. Incredibly overwhelmed. I started listening to In the Defense of Food. It's really good but there are so many big words the writer uses. Michael Pollan is a journalist who decided that food needed a good defense. His biggest topic is taking what science and the food industry has done to our way of thinking and called it nutrionisim.  By that he means we hear one day that aci berries are all the rage because they're an antioxidant, the food industry goes CRAZY and starts putting aci berries in everything from cakes, cookies, pastas, frozen dinner meals. All of these things are heavily processed and lose sight of the bigger picture which Michael Pollan says "Eat food. Not to much. Mostly Plants."

I am conflicted sometimes with my blog. I really hope that I am giving you motivation, education, and information on how to live happier, healthier lives. I don't want to be part of the "lose weight or die" diet culture.

I struggle with body image, with the number on the scale sometimes in the morning. I struggle with when I over indulge and negative self talk. Sometimes I pray too little, and don't talk about God enough. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety from too much caffeine and little sleep. I feel as if I am being a bad example when I gain weight or stuff my face.

Bodies are so crazy though! On Friday I ate so much food by Saturday morning my scale said I weighed 3 extra pounds, By Sunday night I lost the 3 pounds...call it water weight or metformin poo...then as of this Monday morning, I weight an additional 4 pounds. All of it is putting me closer to a number I haven't seen in over 5 years.

I keep telling myself some it is muscle. I mean...my pull ups are getting better and I'm needing LESS band assistance. That's a wonderful non-scale, healthy living achievement! (pause for mental mini-mental celebration: woo-woo!!)

But still I struggle with feeling like I've failed and I now I'm desperately rearranging deck chairs on the titanic to keep from drowning.

I'm not writing for pity, but I am writing because I know we all have these times in our life where the uphill battle is FOR REAL!

Unfortunately for me, sometimes reading books, articles, web pages, about food or anything health related, just makes all of these problems worse for me. Isn't that crazy? The Period Repair manual I talked about earlier this year, and as well as In the Defense of Food...I've added even more carbs back into my diet. Not all good either.

I need to cut the junk, but how? Is "all in" the best option? Is that too strict? Well..it depends on you. Not you-you as a reader, but you-you...as in...what do you want out of your diet, out of your lifestyle, out of your life? What is the best option for you?

For me, I have a goal to lose some weight before a trip my husband and I are taking later this year. I want to look good, but more importantly I want to FEEL good. I don't want to struggle with body image issues or self doubt. I want to be able to enjoy the time we spend with our friends. What will help me FEEL better though?

If I can heal my gut again, then that will help improve my overall mood. I need to cut junk food out, plus alcohol, and most definitely as much sugar as possible.

These foods are not bad, in and of themselves, but everything in moderation. "Eat food. Not to much."

I will substitute my cravings with green tipped bananas, apples, and protein shakes. "Mostly plants."

I think out of all the diets that out in the world today, there's 1 thing they can all agree on. Plants.
Between keto, atkins, paleo, raw, vegan, vegetarian, (What the one that eats fish and plants? add that diet.) each of these can and sometimes do demonize certain food groups. You have to pick the one that going to work for you.

I can tell you right now...mine is no longer working for me. I have strayed away from my Paleo low glycemic diet, and my body is feeling it. Yet, just as I was getting back into it, I was struck with the 3 week cold from hell. (I'm not gonna lie, it could have been worse.) but it zapped my motivation and has me plagued with feelings of doubt.

I heard a bible verse this weekend though that helped me bring it back around though. I've always heard the Devil works harder when you're doing something right spiritually. My intention would then be to make him work over time.


Nehemiah chapter 6 Nehimiah has been building this wall for Jerusalem. The elders of neighboring territories or countries are trying to persuade...well in truth in chapter 6 they're flat out trying to manipulate him into leaving his work behind so they can discuss..."peace talks". Nehemiah knows though, that this isn't true. It's a fools errand to an untimely death if he were to stop his work, which God called him to do. 

While being faced with decisions on what to make for dinner, luckily I'm not facing immediate life or death but choosing whole foods can have a greater impact on my overall health for the better. What is manipulating me into over eating? My emotions?

My husband...not so loving...unfortunately...pointed out that I was letting certain emotions control me. As much as I hate to admit it...he's not wrong. ::roll eyes, giggle::  Could he have said it better? LOL Sure...but men vs women I guess. 

Plagued with feelings of self doubt and nightmares from a past event I wish I could forget, it's been a struggle this last week to keep myself in check. I am attempting to fight back though. Positive self talk. Daily gratitude lists. Reaching out to friends who understand who send prayers and love. Going to the gym. Starting over with my NEXT meal. Not next week, not tomorrow, my next meal. 

This is my great work. Stay the course. Continue to fight for my health, spiritually, mentally, and physically. I am doing a GREAT WORK and I CANNOT COME DOWN. 

 Alright friends, thank you for stopping by and spending time with me today. I really appreciate the time you take to read my thoughts. I hope and pray you have a blessed week. Eat your vegetables, Many blessings, 
A

Comments

Anonymous said…
You’ve written my story. I have a bad self image. I have tried diet after diet. I’m now doing Whole Foods/plant based. Trust the process of whatever you choose. Things are bettter and looking up. There is so much conflicting information. Someone stated to follow the money. It shows us why beef is so acceptable even though we know it causes heart disease. It shows why insulin costs so much money.

Try reading “How Not to Die by Dr Greger. He also has a website nutritionfacts.org.

Thanks for your writing. Love reading about your struggles and happy times. Keep writing!
agoerunnergirl said…
Thank you for you love! I really do want to read that book! It sounds so good. I will keep everyone posted when I pick it up